Speaking of Fear...

I was totally absorbed in my "New Moon" book -- note:  I am addicted -- and Bella is about to be killed by a vampire.  Yes, shocking, I know.  I pretty much feel like, "When is Bella NOT about to be killed by something, most especially a vampire?!"  It was in that tense moment that I heard screams, shrieks, horror, and a whole lot of thumping.

I jump off my bed and frantically look around my room.  "My shoe?  No, a shoe's not hard enough.  These candles?  No, of course not!"  And then I found my glass vase, the heaviest thing I have in this cave.

My instant thoughts were, "Someone's after my roommates."  And then, selfishly, I thought, "I am a sitting duck down here--totally unable to escape."  So I grabbed my vase and courage, when inspiration struck.  A KNIFE!

I grabbed a knife out of my kitchen drawer, shaking and hoping it was all a mistake.  I clutched the glass vase to my chest, holding the knife out and wobbling.  I called out, "Hello?!"  (That would be the part in a scary movie that everyone in the audience would think, "Stupid girl!")  

Gasping for air, and LAUGHING, were three of my roommates.  I tried to make sense of all the commotion - apparently someone scared someone else and then someone flung themselves on the floor.  All I knew was that the knife in my hand was still outstretched, shaking violently.  One roommate looked at me and said, "A steak knife?!  And what were you going to do with the vase?!"  Oh bother.  You try to save someone's life and that's the thanks... :)

And wouldn't you know it, in my delicate state, pajamas (bra-less), hair twisted up in a messy bun, standing in my fear and humiliated by my seemingly poor taste in weapons, was my date for the Sadie Hawkins dance this Saturday.  He probably thinks I'm nuts.  

I don't think I would change my choice of weapons, except I would grab my phone if I ever experienced something like that again.  And a bra?  heh!  Dang roommates.

Yes.  Totally addicted to the Twilight series, by the way.

And, no.  I cannot breathe in Reno.  It looks like fog, but it burns my throat.  I had forgotten how much smoke rolls into this valley when there are forest fires nearby.  

FEARLESS

You know, I was thinking (like always...) and I figured if I weren't afraid there would be so many things I would do, and probably be really good.  My list:

• Dance really good (I know this white girl can't be THAT bad...)
• Cook delicious meals
• Sing in front of people
• WRITE that bestseller (I'm totally inspired by Stephenie Meyer.  Totally.)
• Run like I want to run
• Act.  Yeah, weird, huh?
• Learn guitar
• Become fluent in Spanish
• Be SUPER popular (because I'm so cool anyway, people just don't know.)
• Get a boyfriend  :)  (but not someone permanently in Reno...Kerri.)

At least I can say I'm working on this fear of mine.  I mean, I did serve a mission, go to Europe for two weeks, visiting San Fran BY MYSELF and took my niece hiking in the Grand Canyon.  Plus, I'm applying for grad school.  That's pretty gutsy.  :)

What would you do if you could ditch the fear?

My Cozy Cave

Here are pictures from my new place.  I spent all of today cleaning and organizing.  I think I can now declare that I have moved in.  And it doesn't smell bad anymore!  VICTORY!

                           

Here's my bed and closet This is the "kitchen"       

                         

My sink, with my clever My bench that I'm very happy about.

window picture so it looks

like I have a window.

                            

Another shot of the room There's my small bathroom

                                   

This is another closet The stairs leading upstairs and out

(I have tons of storage space)

                               

My fridge and shelf My dish shelf.  I think I'm most proud of this.

                            

Another angle of the shelf. My countertop with shelf.

Upstairs is pretty cute, too, but I don't feel like taking pictures of it.  Anyway, I'm happy with my little space and I really like my roommates.  It's in a great location, so I can walk to school, church, Institute and two parks!  SWEET!  I'm pretty content.

Girls Night Out II

We had so much fun the first time that we decided to do it again.  Friday night, after my pedicure, we went out to the Cheesecake Factory.  Charmae and Cami even came with.  (I do have a picture of Missy...it's just that I think everyone in the world is trying to download their pictures into blogger right now, so it's taking FOREVER!  Sorry Missy!  But I am glad you came!)

D'On and I ended the night by shooting off some fireworks.  I'm not sure if the smoke will ever settle from those suckers. 

D'On and Kerri

Charmae and Cami

Funny--we ran into Jenn, an old friend from Reno.  It was her birthday and she and Kerri hadn't seen each other for two years!  I knew Reno was small, but I didn't know Vegas was, too!

My first pedicure

I love Laura!  She really has been my very best friend for a long, long time.  And her being the girly girl she is, she suggested we go get our feet pretty.  She scheduled an appointment for Friday, the day after my hike at the Grand Canyon.  That was PERFECT because I figured my feet would be sore and ugly after the hike.  (I was right!)

Becca, her sister, came with us.  I, of course, had the only man in the place working on my feet.  I have a thing about people touching my feet, so to have someone massage them, let alone a strange guy... needless to say I felt a little awkward.  He was fast, but good, so it's alright.  My feet have never looked so good!

Yeah.  Pedicures.  They are definitely something I would do again.  (Except, I think I'd rather have a woman...)

After having our feet done, we went to Costco for some lunch and chatted about So You Think You Can Dance - our FAVORITE tv show.  I love these girls!

Brown flip flops: Danielle

Yellow flip flops:  Laura

Red flip flops:  Becca

Becca and Laura - my favorite people!

Grand Canyon

A couple days before I moved, Nakaela and I went to the Grand Canyon.  With it only being 4 1/2 hours away from Vegas, I decided I couldn't go another summer in my life without seeing it. We drove early Thursday morning, stopping to take pictures at Lake Mead and the dam.  When we got there we went to an overlook to see the majesty of the Grand Canyon.  Words cannot ever describe the massiveness of it!  We were starving, so we picnicked then started on our hike.

Just a tiny part of the view from our lookout point.

This is the trail we decided to hike.  We were told it was 1.5 miles down, but I think it was longer than that....

This is right at the trailhead.

Also near the trailhead.

This was the view of the trail about 2/3 of the way down. (Do you see those switchbacks?!)

Nakaela was so fun and she let me take tons of pictures of her.

This was the "end" of the trail...at least for us.  Nakaela's knee was hurting her pretty bad.  She was in rough shape going down, but hiking back up seemed like it was a piece of cake.  Not for me, though.  I was pretty sure I was going to die.  At the trailhead there's a sign that says, "What goes down must come up!"  I made several theories of ways to get back up without hyperventilating.  

YAHOO!  We made it back!  And, boy, did my legs know it!

Some of the crazy things about the Grand Canyon were how humanized the animals were.  We seriously got 10 feet from a deer!  And the squirrels would run up to if you called for them.  Crazy.

Nakaela and Aunt Danielle  :)

So, because we didn't die, I suggested we go get some ice cream and dinner.  Of course ice cream came before dinner.  :)  We ate at a really cute diner on old Route 66.

AND they had chocolate malts!  MmmMMmm!

Beautiful scenery, a killer hike, insanely friendly animals and ice cream on Route 66 -- what more could you ask for?!

200 Have and Have Nots

I saw this on Kerri's blog and this is sooo up my alley. I love these kinds of things!

The ones I've done are in PURPLE and bold and my comments will hopefully be in black.

1. Touched an iceberg

2. Slept under the stars

3. Been a part of a hockey fight

4. Changed a baby's diaper

5. Watched a meteor shower

(ah, many a good memory...)

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Swam with wild dolphins

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a tarantula

10. Said "I love you" and meant it

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise

15. Seen the Northern Lights

(This is on my bucket list)

16. Gone to a huge sports game

(this one is too--Go SOX!)

17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Bet on a winning horse

23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

(I've been soo close and WILL next summer for sure)

27. Taken an ice cold bath

28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Ridden a rollercoaster

31. Hit a homerun

32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

33. Adopted an accent for fun

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment

36. Loved your job 90% of the time

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Watched wild whales

39. Gone rockclimbing

40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach

41. Gone skydiving

42. Visited Ireland

43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited India

45. Bench-pressed your own weight

46. Milk a cow

(Bucket list item)

47. Alphabetized your personal files

(That's too anal-retentive for me...KERRI)

48. Ever worn a superhero costume

49. Sung karaoke

50. Lounged around in bed all day

51. Gone scuba diving

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Done something you should regret, but don't

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

(4th grade--it was called "Beads R Us" and I was the CFO.)

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Been in a movie

60. Gone without food for 3 days

61. Made cookies from scratch

62. Won first prize in a costume contest

63. Got flowers for no reason

(This disturbs me.)

64. Been in a combat zone

(combat zone=Crowther family functions)

65. Spoken more than one language fluently

(I will someday!!!)

66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone

67. Bounced a check

68. Read - and understood - your credit report

69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy

70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did

71. Called or written your congress person

72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

73. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

(Summer goal!)

74. Helped an animal give birth

75. Been fired or laid off from a job

76. Won money

77. Broken a bone

78. Ridden a motorcycle

79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph

80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

81. Slept through an entire flight

82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

83. Eaten sushi

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the Bible cover to cover

86. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about

87. Gotten someone fired for their actions

88. Gone back to school

89. Changed your name

90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands

91. Eaten fried green tomatoes

(They are seriously my new favorite thing. Oh so yummy!)

92. Read The Iliad

93. Taught yourself an art from scratch

94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt

96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

(Story of my life.)

97. Been elected to public office

98. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream

99. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you

101. Had a booth at a street fair

(Gotta love street contacting on the mish!)

102. Dyed your hair

103. Been a DJ

104. Rocked a baby to sleep

105. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all fours

106. Raked your carpet

107. Brought out the best in people

108. Brought out the worst in people

109. Worn a mood ring

110. Ridden a horse

111. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap

112. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe

113. Buried a child

114. Gone to a Broadway play

115. Been inside the pyramids

116. Shot a basketball into a basket

117. Danced at a disco

118. Played in a band

119. Shot a bird

120. Gone to an arboretum

(It's like a really big flower garden)

121. Tutored someone

122. Ridden a train

123. Brought an old fad back into style

124. Eaten caviar

125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn't need

126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant

127. Published a book

(Someday!)

128. Pieced a quilt

129. Lived in an historic place

(I don't think it gets more historic than Boston. Yahoo!)

130. Acted in a play or performed on stage

131. Asked for a raise

132. Made a hole-in-one

(I'm still in shock over this one... it was on the last hole at the mini-golf course and I won a free game! Incredible.)

133. Gone deep sea fishing

134. Gone roller skating

135. Run a marathon

136. Learned to surf

137. Invented something

138. Flown first class

139. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite

140. Flown in a helicopter

141. Visited Africa

142. Sang a solo

143. Gone spelunking

144. Learned how to take a compliment

145. Written a love-story

146. Seen Michelangelo's David

147. Had your portrait painted

148. Written a fan letter

149. Spent the night in something haunted

(My old roommate and I were certain that our college dorm was haunted)

150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane

(and I never will...but I did chase down a mastiff in a skirt--wait, the dog wasn't in a skirt, I was)

151. Ran away

(more times than I can count...from Andy and Javier and...every boy prior to Phil)

152. Learn to juggle

(school work, work work, church work, and a boyfriend, plus free time and exercise and etc...  yeah, not easy.)

153. Been a boss

154. Sat on a jury

155. Lied about your weight

156. Gone on a diet

157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget

158. Written a poem

159. Carried your lunch in a lunchbox

160. Gotten food poisoning

161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission

162. Hiked the Grand Canyon

(just last Thursday with my niece, Nakaela! I should blog about that...)

163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks

164. Gone to the opera

165. Gotten a letter from someone famous

166. Worn knickers

167. Ridden in a limousine

(Thanks to Eric and SF!)

168. Attended the Olympics

169. Can hula or waltz

170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books

171. Been stuck in an elevator

172. Had a revelatory dream

173. Thought you might crash in an airplane

174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert

175. Saved someone's life

(oh the things that happen on a mission...)

176. Eaten raw whale

177. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint

178. Laughed till your side hurt

179. Straddled the equator

180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing

181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival

182. Sent a message in a bottle

183. Spent the night in a hostel

(Oxford, England and it was a blast!)

184. Been a cashier

185. See Old Faithful geyser erupt

186. Joined a union

187. Donated blood or plasma

188. Built a campfire

189. Kept a blog

190. Had hives

191. Worn custom made shoes or boots

192. Made a PowerPoint presentation

193. Taken a Hunter's Safety course

194. Served at a soup kitchen

195. Conquered the Rubik's cube

(with a little help from the boyfriend)

196. Know CPR

197. Ridden in or owned a convertible

198. Found a long lost friend

200. Responded to a NJP newsletter

(not that I know who NJP is or anything, but here I am...)

Life update

I am officially in Reno, though I'm not quite sure how officially moved in I am.  There's still much unpacking/cleaning/decorating left to be done, and ucky musty basement general smelliness to be aired out.

Overall I have found myself in a good spot.  I often feel unqualified at work and home.... well, I don't know if that's the right word.  I feel like I can't meet what I feel are expectations.  But, we'll take it one day at a time.

And on this day, I have a Marie Callender's pie in my fridge.  :)

Oh yeah.  Summer goals.  Not working so good.  YET. (maybe after the pie...and the peach pie I want to get later...)

Pictures will come later.

Quotes and such

So, I'm packing AGAIN.  Ugh.  That's like my life.  I spent the first month post-mission UNPACKING all my stuff from Reno, only to repack it all again.  Plus now I have all my mission stuff scattered in various places.  Here's a truth: the older you get, the more stuff you have to figure out what to do with.

In an effort to get rid of some scraps of paper, I'm going to post some favorite quotes, poems, and my scratchings.  It may not be terribly exciting, but it'll be online and out of my pile of junk.

"He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven" by WB Yeats

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with gold and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and the half light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I spread my dreams under your feet.

Tread softly because you tread upon my dreams.

Are we not the framers of our own destiny? Are we not the arbitrators of our fate?...It is our privilege to determine our own exaltation or degradation; it is our privilege to determine our own happiness or misery in the world to come.  -John Taylor

When filled with God's love, we can do and see and understand things that we could not otherwise do or see or understand.  Filled with His love, we can endure pain, quell fear, forgive freely, avoid contention, renew strength, and bless and help others in ways surprising even to us.  -John H. Groberg

All difficulties which might and would cross our way must be surmounted.  Though the soul be tried, the heart faint, and the hands hang down, we must not retrace our steps; there must be decision of character....  When instructed, we must obey that voice, observe the laws of the kingdom of God, that the blessing of heaven may rest down upon us.  -Joseph Smith, Jr.

(I love Joseph because he tells it how it is!  A true New Englander!  heh)

Brethren, it is in doing--not just dreaming--that lives are blessed, others are guided, and souls are saved.  'Be ye doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.'  -Pres. Monson

And what is beauty?

A nondescript word that implies the wishes of souls.

Beauty is wondering what I see, why I love, glancing up 

and finding the answers in his eyes that switch from green to gray.

Beauty is feeling my aching, broken heart,

the chest which has been clenched up, fighting for breath,

the whole inside of me expanding as he sits near.

I am a fool for loving beauty.

(written in 2005)

   To fill the mundane life.  My mundane life.  My ever-analyzing, always-questioning, constant-thinking life.  My never-dull, unexpectedly changing life.  My full of boys, pressing social activities, talking about dating and work and school and future life.

   There's that county song--there's gotta be something more.  God says be patient AND cheerful.  I am forgetful.  Neither patient nor cheerful.  Everyday has been a constant struggle to be positive.  I start thinking and analyzing--my hope's unreal.  I read, then study, then pray and God says, "Be patient, Danielle."  And I live another day, only to do it again the next.

   It is all in my head.

   Unfortunately.

(written in 2005 -- MAN, I'm glad that year's over!  lol!)

Hm.  That's all for now.

Summer Goals

Now that it's June, I'm starting my new goals.  So far so good!  :)

I remember on the mission watching people run along the Charles River and thinking it looked so therapeutic.  I wanted to love to run.  I don't love to run, but I wanted to as I watched them.  Some people just flow with the earth, so smooth.    Ah.  It looked nice.  Anyway, I know it'll be a lot of work, but I want to get to that point--good form and a love of the practice.

(Let's face it--this is more realistic)

SO...my goal is to learn to love running, and I made a few others, including no soda and no fast food.  Then I got to thinking...and I decided I could have salads at fast food restaurants and I can have Baja Fresh because I don't consider that unhealthy.  :)  I decided to give up desserts.  All except ice cream. THEN I remembered how much I like making apple pies and so I decided I couldn't have desserts, except ice cream and pie.  The whole dessert thing might be my downfall.  I don't know if I'd feel that guilty quitting on that one, though.

YUM!

I've gotten all sorts of good ideas from different places, like the Real Simple magazine, MSN, and the online fitness magazine that comes to my hotmail account.  One idea I liked was to put reasons on my alarm clock of WHY I'm exercising or eating better.  Stickies that say, "Loving to run" or "Size __ (fill in the blank)" or "Secret Weapon".  (I have better ones, but they're a little too personal for my blog.  Sorry! - It's still just Kerri and D'On that read this anyhow.)  I've even thought of cutting out pictures of cute clothes/"stuff" from the Victoria's Secret's catalogue.  You know, looking at those skinny little models makes me want to work my butt off to look like them (minus the airbrushing that I'm sure is done on their pictures).  

Another idea is one woman would reward herself with a $5 bouquet of flowers if she exercised 3 days a week (which was her goal).  I like that.  And since I'm moving into a cave, flowers will be necessary.

Keeping a food/exercise journal is also one idea that is consistent with most fitness sources.  I plan to do that...eventually.

I also bought one of those cheap pedometers with the goal of walking 1 million steps in 100 days (10,000 steps a day).  It's totally doable.  (Anyone wanna compete??)

If anyone has any other ideas or tips, I'm open for them (ahem...AMBER!). 

Here's to a healthier summer!  YAHOO!

Lunch with the Girls

The last time I saw Amber, my closest friend in high school, was the day I entered the MTC.  So she, Kerri, Missy and I decided to meet for lunch.

Once again, I found myself the single girl with the crazy moms.  BUT, that's okay.  I'll listen to their talk of birth control, breast feeding, poopy diapers and spit-up fiascos if they'll listen to my mission war stories.  Fair trade.  ;)

Kerri and Missy

Amber and me (doesn't she make me look like crap?!  Ugh!)

Chloe!  Kerri's little cutie.

I love this picture of Amber and Sadie!

Me and Sadie.  We match. :)

Well, even if all my friends are insane mothers, they sure mean the WORLD to me!  And they have really cute kids. :)

Phantom of the Opera

My friend Trinett and I decided we needed to do something last Saturday night (Memorial Day weekend). There were some options, including hanging out with her friend from the mission and his brother.  They were from Utah and were driving down for the weekend to go see Phantom of the Opera.  Depending on the price of the tickets we contemplated going with.  Then Trinett called me up and said, "You're going on a date!"

You know, sometimes it really pays to be single.  HOW lucky is that?!

So, I forgot to take pictures in the theater (dumb!) but, here's a picture of the group.

So, there's Timothy, Justin (Trinett's friend), Trinnett and me.  This was taken in the car as we were "driving" on the Strip.  HA!  The Strip on a Saturday night--not the fastest bit of road in Vegas.  There was plenty of time to take this picture...and probably several more.  

They were fun boys.  Timothy was HILARIOUS and restored my belief that there are people in this world as funny as Eric.  Timothy was my favorite, but Justin was not far behind.  He would feed off his brother, and together they were unstoppably funny.  

We went to dinner beforehand at Hush Puppies and ate frog legs and alligator tail--no joke.  We all decided the alligator wasn't so bad but the frog legs were a no go.  You can too easily imagine the former owners' of those legs hopping around on them.

The show was INCREDIBLE!!!!  The theater was superfluous with design (like my big word? - still studying for the GRE).  The music was incredible (though one woman was a little flat and their vowels were almost appalling).  I smiled the whole time and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Afterwards we decided to walk the Strip a bit and watch the (hookers-HA!) Bellagio show.  Unfortunately it wasn't going, so we just walked around.  At least it made me once again thankful for the Gospel and that the life on the Strip is not a part of who I am.

Anyway, I had a great time and am so happy to have met those boys from Utah.  What a great night!