This introvert says...

PHEW!

Just got home from an all-staff retreat.  It was interesting, exhausting, fun, hard, and a lot of other things.  I haven't shared much about my workplace (only that my coworkers are beautiful) and there's a reason for that.  For one thing, I don't want to lose my job.  :)

I do love my coworkers and my work environment, for the most part.  There is one person within the entire department that I kinda feel is my personal nemesis.  He's condescending, rude and crazy demeaning.  I've never had an interaction with him that was positive.  I've always felt personally attacked and I really, honestly feel he is poisonous.  So, I stay away from him.  In fact, I try not to even look at him.  I think I can say that I kinda hate this guy.

In this retreat we talked a lot about work trust and dysfunction.  I learned that I have a lot of maturing to do.  Sometimes I do play the victim, and sometimes my ego does get in the way.  BUT, I also recognize that this other person has a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of maturing to do as well.  And the one thing this retreat was lacking was a concrete "how to".  I was really hoping to come away with a better grasp of what exactly we need to do to eradicate the poison.  I don't really feel I got that, which makes me a little disappointed.  Perhaps the only message that was shared was "look within and change what you can."  Well, that's all fine and dandy, but it doesn't help me when I come home crying after any sort of interaction with this guy.  *sigh*  Maybe I missed something.

In all this talk of character, performance, trust, and personality, I came to one really big realization, though.

I am an introvert.

Through and through.

If only for the fact that I am reflecting in a blog post all my personal feelings about this retreat.

And then I realized that that is why I like blogging.

It is an introvert's way of handling a predominantly extroverted world.

I don't know if that's really true, but it sounds good.  I'd much rather be at home typing about my feelings about the retreat than at Pub N Sub talking about it.  Not that I don't like talking, because trust you me... I DO.  But I am emotionally exhausted and I'm fine being home, typing out my thoughts, and listening to music.

I understand that this post is also just for me.  So, if you've made it all the way through, congratulations?  You are probably crazy.  :)

Source: i.imgur.com via Danielle on Pinterest