Bob the Snail

When he* was a little boy, he found the coolest looking badge. Now, mind you, he was just a young boy so the badge could have been just as plain as any badge. But to his wild and curious mind, it was a badge of huge proportions. Perhaps it was magical? On the back of the badge was a name. Using our incredible literary license, we're going to say that the name was hard to make out because of the dirt caked into the little crevices. This is very likely, since this story does take place in a dusty, northern Californian factory town. There are old, wooden buildings with peeling paint lining Main Street, and a railroad track running smack dab in the center of town. Naturally, we can assume in a very cliche sort of way, that this badge he found was covered in dirt.

Rubbing the dirt off, he saw the name "Bob". Very proudly, he pinned this badge on his shirt and started walking home. While kicking up dust and grass clumps, he found a curious object. Why, it was a snail! Not just an ordinary snail, but one that had the same coloring and design on its shell as his magical badge. Maybe it was a magical snail! He named it Bob. Bob the snail. (Did the badge connect him to his newfound friend in some mystical sort of way??)

Oh, how he loved Bob the snail! They would swing together and slide, go on walks and have a swell time together. Then one day, he came home from school and found that Bob the snail had died.

His little devastated heart dug a grave, and very mournfully, he promised Bob the snail that he would never forget him. Ever. Later, he made a snail out of clay and would say, "Bob the snail lives!" I imagine he carried that clay snail in his pocket for a good while, in honor of his friend and the good times he had with it.

The end.

Sorta.


Here's the real story:

"Well, I did have a snail named Bob but the badge part is made up. And I shot Bob out of a slingshot into a lake. I did make a clay tribute to Bob, but I shot it into the same lake with the same slingshot. There really was no mourning at all."



I think I'm most sad that the badge part is made up. I was kinda fond of that badge.


*Name has been removed to protect the innocent.